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Child Item

Finding something you wish you didnt.

Lando Griffin

Last weekend as I tidied up the drinks cabinet I discovered a delightfully covered jotter.
I nearly dropped as I read through it.
Every line a damming indictment of a miserable woman.
I couldn’t believe it as I read how when I am down the pub on Friday and Saturday nights and Sundays for Super Sunday she sits there lonely writing her memoirs.
As I read more I discovered she must have had a relationship with another man, a greedy shelfis person much akin to her father, “ oh how I do wish he could be different to my pub loving father” and such.
My mates think that there is not much up, that now I am off the booze she would be much happier.
But alas no, “now he sits there laptop on knee complaining about all the Reality programs I love”
I wish I never found these memoirs.
There can never be trust between us now.
What would the decent folk of AH do?

HAve you ever found something you wish you didn't?

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Poor Uncle Tom

Auldloon wrote: »

A man's sock that wasnt mine in the marital bed. Didn't even think much of it at the time!

That's all she left?...............maneater....:D

0ph0rce0

doulikeit wrote: »

Me and the brother out fishing one day we found a ring i beat d bollix outa him and then f&%ed off up the mountains for a while
Then these wee gimps wi massive feet stole me ring the c#@nts and had to follow them to some **** hole think it was cavan loads of ugly people there
There was a wee fat gimp he beat d bollix outa me then i tried to kill him a few times. Bloody mess the whole thing and never got d poxy ring back wish i never found it

I think you'll find that these people will be very happy to help you

http://www.thespeechcentre.com/

jubella

About 5 years ago I was on my mam's laptop and wanted to save a picture from facebook or something, and when I went into My Pictures to get it, I found a load of pictures of her fella (who lived with us at the time) decked out in full women's gear, complete with painted nails, shaved legs and high heels, in a variety of provocative poses (all fully clothed, THANK GOD).
Anyway, nothing against that if it's what you're into, but I was not expecting to find that and definitely got creeped out a little.

doulikeit

0ph0rce0 wrote: »

I think you'll find that these people will be very happy to help you

http://www.thespeechcentre.com/

Ahhhhh that's cool ur cool

Roger_007

jubella wrote: »

About 5 years ago I was on my mam's laptop .

I thought this was going to be something else entirely.

juan.kerr

doulikeit wrote: »

Me and the brother out fishing one day we found a ring i beat d bollix outa him and then f&%ed off up the mountains for a while
Then these wee gimps wi massive feet stole me ring the c#@nts and had to follow them to some **** hole think it was cavan loads of ugly people there
There was a wee fat gimp he beat d bollix outa me then i tried to kill him a few times. Bloody mess the whole thing and never got d poxy ring back wish i never found it

Someone should write a book about this. Not you (obviously).

du Maurier

doulikeit wrote: »

Me and the brother out fishing one day we found a ring i beat d bollix outa him and then f&%ed off up the mountains for a while
Then these wee gimps wi massive feet stole me ring the c#@nts and had to follow them to some **** hole think it was cavan loads of ugly people there
There was a wee fat gimp he beat d bollix outa me then i tried to kill him a few times. Bloody mess the whole thing and never got d poxy ring back wish i never found it

What's all this about?

du Maurier

doulikeit wrote: »

Me and the brother out fishing one day we found a ring i beat d bollix outa him and then f&%ed off up the mountains for a while
Then these wee gimps wi massive feet stole me ring the c#@nts and had to follow them to some **** hole think it was cavan loads of ugly people there
There was a wee fat gimp he beat d bollix outa me then i tried to kill him a few times. Bloody mess the whole thing and never got d poxy ring back wish i never found it

I think this is my favourite part of the story.

juan.kerr

I passed wind one evening, only to find that I had passed a bit more than just wind. Unpleasant.

up for anything

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Last weekend as I tidied up the drinks cabinet I discovered a delightfully covered jotter.
I nearly dropped as I read through it.
Every line a damming indictment of a miserable woman.
I couldn’t believe it as I read how when I am down the pub on Friday and Saturday nights and Sundays for Super Sunday she sits there lonely writing her memoirs.
As I read more I discovered she must have had a relationship with another man, a greedy shelfis person much akin to her father, “ oh how I do wish he could be different to my pub loving father” and such.
My mates think that there is not much up, that now I am off the booze she would be much happier.
But alas no, “now he sits there laptop on knee complaining about all the Reality programs I love”
I wish I never found these memoirs.
There can never be trust between us now.
What would the decent folk of AH do?

HAve you ever found something you wish you didn't?

Are you talking about your wife or your daughter? It's a bit confusing. If it's your wife is the other relationship she had with you hence the comparison with her pub loving father? If it's your daughter why are can't there be trust between you anymore? I do wish you hadn't been drunk when you wrote that it would probably be much easier to work out.

tan11ie

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

found a washed up whale about 10 years ago.

That's no way to talk about your girlfriend :P

AK333

doulikeit wrote: »

Me and the brother out fishing one day we found a ring i beat d bollix outa him and then f&%ed off up the mountains for a while
Then these wee gimps wi massive feet stole me ring the c#@nts and had to follow them to some **** hole think it was cavan loads of ugly people there
There was a wee fat gimp he beat d bollix outa me then i tried to kill him a few times. Bloody mess the whole thing and never got d poxy ring back wish i never found it

???? Can I have the english version please

ToddyDoody

Dead bird. Thank U puss. (took a dump in her basket as revenge)

Genghiz Cohen

AK333 wrote: »

???? Can I have the english version please

Lord of the rings.
Watch it.

luvnit!

An ex's detailed account of where and who I had spoken to at college and around town for about 2 months. He didnt even go to the same college. F**kin weirdo.
Got the door the same day.

wendell borton

doulikeit wrote: »

Me and the brother out fishing one day we found a ring i beat d bollix outa him and then f&%ed off up the mountains for a while
Then these wee gimps wi massive feet stole me ring the c#@nts and had to follow them to some **** hole think it was cavan loads of ugly people there
There was a wee fat gimp he beat d bollix outa me then i tried to kill him a few times. Bloody mess the whole thing and never got d poxy ring back wish i never found it

I Thought you fell into the volcano.

Capt'n Midnight

Kat1170 wrote: »

The day I found out there was no Santy :mad::(:mad::(:mad::(:(:(

This has been a pretty rough week for you hasn't it ?

Today I picked up a bag of oranges and one was mushy

newmug

@ Lando and Czarcasm, I hope you two lads are taking the piss, I really do. If not, here's a non-gay manhug **hug**

And Auldloon! Missed you there!

Czarcasm

newmug wrote: »

@ Lando and Czarcasm, I hope you two lads are taking the piss, I really do. If not, here's a non-gay manhug **hug**

Ah nice one newmug!

No, genuinely I get on great with her family and all and her brother, and I know her brother would've meant it in a genuine and well meaning way because we're about the same size. He's often cleaning out his wardrobe and he'd ask do I want anything like shirts or pants before he gives them away, but the jocks were just a bit much! :pac: